From Grief to Grace: Savannah’s Legacy and Our Healing Journey
In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I feel it's only fitting to share a piece of my story and how something as beautiful as Living Water Women’s Wellness was born out of tragedy and heartbreak.
There are moments in life that words cannot truly capture—moments of pain so deep that silence often follows because no words seem adequate. One of those moments for me was when we learned our daughter Savannah’s heart had stopped beating. It was just days after we had taken what would be our last family photo together during the pregnancy. I remember that day so vividly—the warm sun on our faces, the gentle breeze, and the perfect little wave pools washing up on the shore. I looked around at my family, thinking how lucky we were. Even though this pregnancy had been challenging from the start, I never expected it to end the way it did.
For months, the kids had kept the big secret of our “carrot sprout,” as they loved called her, and we were finally preparing to share the news with the world. We took dozens of photos as the kids laughed and giggled, betting on whether it would be a brother or a sister. We had always chosen to wait until delivery to learn the baby's gender. I know—we’re one of those families. But there’s nothing quite like the excitement of that intimate moment, just the two (or three) of you, learning what God has blessed you with.
But just two weeks later, before we even had the chance to share the photos, our world changed. Well into my second trimester—a time when we thought the greatest hurdles were behind us—everything was shattered in an instant. Every dream we had for her, everything we hoped for, was gone.
Losing Savannah was like losing a piece of myself. And what followed was even more devastating—two more pregnancies that ended too soon, leaving us in a haze of sorrow and disbelief. The weight of grief was unbearable at times. Each loss compounded the heartbreak, making it difficult to find hope.
Savannah’s death, which happened on our 10-year wedding anniversary, forever changed the lives of our family. As I have worked on my journey of healing, this past year brought me the most significant amount of peace. That peace came through the skills I’ve acquired during my advanced training in faith-based integration of healing. On our anniversary this past August, Andrew surprised me and took me to a float spa. He thought it would be soothing to my nervous system and provide a space for me to just rest. If you’ve never been, I encourage you to check it out.
As I entered this little pod, it took a while for me to find a deep meditative state, but when I did—what an experience! It was in that moment, as I prayed and reflected on this day seven years ago, that I asked God where He was. Where were you when I sat on that cold stretcher as the callous medical staff told me our daughter was dead? Where were you when my world was crashing down, and I couldn’t breathe? Where were you when I was shattering into a million pieces?
The vision I received in the midst of the pain was beyond comforting. I saw Jesus sitting next to me on the bed, on my right side, with His arm around me. I saw the Father holding our daughter across the room, to the right of the medical staff, and I saw the Holy Spirit with His hand on my husband’s left shoulder. I was never alone. Even in the pain, God was there.
Later that evening, I told Andrew about the experience. I’ve never shared it with anyone else until today. The grief still hits differently, and sometimes it catches me off guard, but that moment with God has brought so much healing and peace to a place and time I never thought I would survive.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is a time to honor the lives that were lost and the hearts that were broken. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there can be light. Savannah’s memory lives on in the work that I do, and my hope is to bring peace and healing to other women who feel like their dreams have been shattered, just as mine were.
To anyone who has experienced the pain of loss, know that you are not alone. There is space for your grief, and there is also space for your healing.
If you or someone you know has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, know that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. At Living Water Women’s Wellness, we’re here to support you with compassionate care and a safe space for healing. Schedule a consultation or reach out to share your story—together, we can find peace and healing.
